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…Let’s enumerate the possible misfortunes.

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The Fall of the Kings Audiobook Recipe contest: Have a thief's feast
In honor of the August 27th audiobook release of Ellen Kushner and Delia Sherman's The Fall of the Kings (you know, that third "Swordspoint" book!) they're having a Recipies from Riverside contest shindig over at---> http://ellen-kushner.livejournal.com/426241.html If you enter, ye might get a copy of the audiobook FOR FREE.

Much like an impoverished street urchin, my cooking skills are paltry and my access to ingredients is limited. So in honor of the release, I have cobbled together a rendition of a Czech recipe that even I managed to cook up with minimum disaster befalling me.

What you're gonna need:
-half a head of cabbage (Just climb over the wall, steal to from old lady Magda's garden. She's got gout and doesn't see too well anymore. Like she can catch you.)
-an onion (I think someone threw one at me earlier. I've got it here in a pocket somewhere.)
-a cup of wheat flour (Visit the baker. Don't buy anything. )
-1/2 cup of water (I wouldn't get it from the river)
-1/2 a cup of butter (you remember that baker, right)

If you're feeling really rich, you can add a bit of salt to taste.

1.) Hack up that cabbage and onion. Throw them in a pan and fry them with the butter until the cabbage is sort of clear and mushy.

2.) Mix the flour and water. Boil a pot or water and then blob spoonfuls of the dough into the water. These are your dumplings. They may not look like dumplings, but they'll taste like dumplings. Now, when these are done, fish them out of the pot mix them in with the cabbage and onions. Now you're done. Eat up, kiddo. You're going to need that energy to avoid the watchman, you little thief.

(Really get on this guys, even if cabbage isn't your thing. The first two audiobooks were incredibly well done--> http://www.amazon.com/The-Fall-of-the-Kings/dp/B00EILCR9E/ref=tmm_aud_title_0 )